Yay, progress
This finally did end up being the weekend during which I got some long-term stuff done. The room? cleaned up, more open-feeling. Absentee ballot? filled out, looking good. Math thesis? off to a substantive start, finally have some tips on how to format stuff. Reading? not caught up, per se, but at least on top of what needs to happen day-to-day. I also got my sleep schedule reset (up at 9 this morning), finally made it to target (so I won't run out of shaving cream), and did dim sum.
I can't get overwhelmed by optimism, though. The history thesis is looking more like the thing they were right to recommend I start last spring. Changing the topic to something which, granted, I will actually enjoy writing about doesn't mean the process will be easy. I also had the chance to meet with my advisor last thursday, at which time he said, "I was 90% sure you were gonna come in today and tell me you weren't going to write a thesis anymore." After I protested, since I was just hoping to discuss its progress with him, he said, "Well, at least it had to cross your mind, didn't it?" Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, people sometimes ask me why I've grown so resentful of academia. Times like this, it's hard to remember that there was a time I wasn't. This isn't the only reason, in case you just wanted to tell me I need a different advisor (which maybe I do); the career advice I've received from professors is as follows:
1. have you thought about grad school? oh, ok, no, I understand, so...
2. maybe take a year off and then look at grad school? oh, that's why you don't want to go, then...
3. are you applying for any fellowships? yeah, I agree, they're a longshot; you need a backup plan like...
4. try teaching english somewhere in Asia? well, no, I don't think they really address student loan debt, so...
5. teach for america is hiring, have you looked into that? you know, I think a lot of people are just intimidated by teaching. I think you'd do fine, but if you really do want a job somewhere...
6. good luck.
Admittedly, this is what you get for asking for career advice from someone who stayed in school (uninterrupted) until the age of 35.
Other than this sort of whirlpool of academia (thesis, lack of any sort of concrete ideas for next year beyond 3 and 4), into which I feel inexoribly drawn, things are going pretty well. I'm getting the grading back under control, dealing with real issues at work, and through the combination of the two, subsidizing going out to eat a couple times a week. That food is a major factor in my retention of psychological equilibrium; I also have really grown to love my time in the car as part of my commute--when you let go and don't try to fight the traffic, it's time to relax a little, sing along with the radio, call an old friend, or just have some quiet time to think. The American urban system, predicated on car ownership and commute time, shows its strength at times like these--although I enjoyed being able to read on the subway in DC or Budapest, that space is pretty definitively public. There's nothing quite like that feeling of... empowerment, almost, from being in *your* car, controlling your reality with practiced hand, choosing *your* destination/destiny, and sitting back with the serenity that, try as you might to beat the traffic you're in, the time you'll gain is negligible compared with the quality of time you lose.
I can't get overwhelmed by optimism, though. The history thesis is looking more like the thing they were right to recommend I start last spring. Changing the topic to something which, granted, I will actually enjoy writing about doesn't mean the process will be easy. I also had the chance to meet with my advisor last thursday, at which time he said, "I was 90% sure you were gonna come in today and tell me you weren't going to write a thesis anymore." After I protested, since I was just hoping to discuss its progress with him, he said, "Well, at least it had to cross your mind, didn't it?" Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, people sometimes ask me why I've grown so resentful of academia. Times like this, it's hard to remember that there was a time I wasn't. This isn't the only reason, in case you just wanted to tell me I need a different advisor (which maybe I do); the career advice I've received from professors is as follows:
1. have you thought about grad school? oh, ok, no, I understand, so...
2. maybe take a year off and then look at grad school? oh, that's why you don't want to go, then...
3. are you applying for any fellowships? yeah, I agree, they're a longshot; you need a backup plan like...
4. try teaching english somewhere in Asia? well, no, I don't think they really address student loan debt, so...
5. teach for america is hiring, have you looked into that? you know, I think a lot of people are just intimidated by teaching. I think you'd do fine, but if you really do want a job somewhere...
6. good luck.
Admittedly, this is what you get for asking for career advice from someone who stayed in school (uninterrupted) until the age of 35.
Other than this sort of whirlpool of academia (thesis, lack of any sort of concrete ideas for next year beyond 3 and 4), into which I feel inexoribly drawn, things are going pretty well. I'm getting the grading back under control, dealing with real issues at work, and through the combination of the two, subsidizing going out to eat a couple times a week. That food is a major factor in my retention of psychological equilibrium; I also have really grown to love my time in the car as part of my commute--when you let go and don't try to fight the traffic, it's time to relax a little, sing along with the radio, call an old friend, or just have some quiet time to think. The American urban system, predicated on car ownership and commute time, shows its strength at times like these--although I enjoyed being able to read on the subway in DC or Budapest, that space is pretty definitively public. There's nothing quite like that feeling of... empowerment, almost, from being in *your* car, controlling your reality with practiced hand, choosing *your* destination/destiny, and sitting back with the serenity that, try as you might to beat the traffic you're in, the time you'll gain is negligible compared with the quality of time you lose.
posted by sam at
3:44 PM
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