the opt-out
I should really go to bed (I have to give a presentation for the Chinese University of Hong Kong Women's Association bright and early tomorrow morning), but I just wanted to throw something out there, since I was encouraged to write more by the way friends actually commented on that last entry. [*cough*]
Basically, I've been kind of trying to stay in touch with the news back in the States. Reading the NY Times every day, staying abreast of Denver sports news (you can listen to the hometown radio announcers over the internet for every nuggets game), following the development of the election season while remaining a comfortable distance away from the awful ads, etc etc. The funny thing is, although this wealth of information is definitely interesting to me in the same way it has been since whenever it was in middle or high school that I started reading more than the comics every morning, I'm not feeling as, well, affected by it as I used to. It's like, regardless of when I'm planning to return to the US (and how long I want to stay there), what was "current events" has become "political and economic problems that are happening somewhere else". I feel only mildly disgusted at the lack of substance to the incessant Decision 2008 coverage, only a little ashamed of how badly Congress is failing to reverse some troubling agri/energy/gov't assistance practices, only moderately offended by the rhetoric surrounding the immigration debate.
It's like by simply not being physically present for these events, I've tricked myself into believing I won't have to deal with the consequences down the line. Like I'm not going to go back and have to deal with whoever ends up getting chosen out of the "Double Guantanamo!" or the "I'm Less Unelectable When Attacked by the GOP" caucuses, however low the dollar is going to sink, how xenophobia is ascending towards Most Socially Acceptable Form of Bullshit (this even keeping in mind how often I got/continue to get mistaken for Mexican in places like Mexico City and My High School), I'm only a little shocked at how unstoppable the Jazz seem to have become (this keeping in mind that they play in our division). At any rate, the chances of me actually settling permanently in another country aren't really that high (are they???), so these problems are still my problems, whether I'm there or not. But somehow, I can't bring myself to get indignant, only flippant about how ridiculous everything seems.
Maybe it's because I, product of a media-critical education, have no source except the media to ascertain what the heck is going on. I've read coverage of health care proposals without reading the actual policy statements, I've read commentary on the Nuggets without seeing them on the court a single minute. Subconsciously, I prepare myself to disparage these reports even before getting the full impact of what they mean for me, for the life I will, eventually, return to in the US. I'm not exactly comfortable with my relationship to the news, but at the same time it's a bigger concern whether I'm going to have something decent prepared for the lesson I'm supposed to teach the next day and why I fail, day in and day out, to write the emails I'm losing touch with people over not writing. Maybe the last one is as important as macro-level problems, but the "work excuse" seems like something I'm not going to be able to avoid for the rest of my life. Echoing Cathy's logic, if I can't stay passionate about things like Habeas Corpus when I have a silly part-time english teaching job, how am I gonna be engaged when I have a real, full-time job?
If this disengagement is a product of "adulthood", instead of geographic displacement, I'm worried for what that says about type of "adult" I'm already transitioning toward. Though it may be the only way to make 16 months of non-stop election coverage bearable, I'm not deep-down comfortable with that kind of complacency.
Basically, I've been kind of trying to stay in touch with the news back in the States. Reading the NY Times every day, staying abreast of Denver sports news (you can listen to the hometown radio announcers over the internet for every nuggets game), following the development of the election season while remaining a comfortable distance away from the awful ads, etc etc. The funny thing is, although this wealth of information is definitely interesting to me in the same way it has been since whenever it was in middle or high school that I started reading more than the comics every morning, I'm not feeling as, well, affected by it as I used to. It's like, regardless of when I'm planning to return to the US (and how long I want to stay there), what was "current events" has become "political and economic problems that are happening somewhere else". I feel only mildly disgusted at the lack of substance to the incessant Decision 2008 coverage, only a little ashamed of how badly Congress is failing to reverse some troubling agri/energy/gov't assistance practices, only moderately offended by the rhetoric surrounding the immigration debate.
It's like by simply not being physically present for these events, I've tricked myself into believing I won't have to deal with the consequences down the line. Like I'm not going to go back and have to deal with whoever ends up getting chosen out of the "Double Guantanamo!" or the "I'm Less Unelectable When Attacked by the GOP" caucuses, however low the dollar is going to sink, how xenophobia is ascending towards Most Socially Acceptable Form of Bullshit (this even keeping in mind how often I got/continue to get mistaken for Mexican in places like Mexico City and My High School), I'm only a little shocked at how unstoppable the Jazz seem to have become (this keeping in mind that they play in our division). At any rate, the chances of me actually settling permanently in another country aren't really that high (are they???), so these problems are still my problems, whether I'm there or not. But somehow, I can't bring myself to get indignant, only flippant about how ridiculous everything seems.
Maybe it's because I, product of a media-critical education, have no source except the media to ascertain what the heck is going on. I've read coverage of health care proposals without reading the actual policy statements, I've read commentary on the Nuggets without seeing them on the court a single minute. Subconsciously, I prepare myself to disparage these reports even before getting the full impact of what they mean for me, for the life I will, eventually, return to in the US. I'm not exactly comfortable with my relationship to the news, but at the same time it's a bigger concern whether I'm going to have something decent prepared for the lesson I'm supposed to teach the next day and why I fail, day in and day out, to write the emails I'm losing touch with people over not writing. Maybe the last one is as important as macro-level problems, but the "work excuse" seems like something I'm not going to be able to avoid for the rest of my life. Echoing Cathy's logic, if I can't stay passionate about things like Habeas Corpus when I have a silly part-time english teaching job, how am I gonna be engaged when I have a real, full-time job?
If this disengagement is a product of "adulthood", instead of geographic displacement, I'm worried for what that says about type of "adult" I'm already transitioning toward. Though it may be the only way to make 16 months of non-stop election coverage bearable, I'm not deep-down comfortable with that kind of complacency.
posted by sam at
11:55 PM
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