... in which I feel surprising amounts of stress
... which will hopefully be cured this afternoon by a visit (with Cathy, who's visiting) to one of Budapest's famous spring-fed baths. Why stressed, you ask? Well, to be honest, a lot of reasons.
1. Too much math. Midterm last week, midterm this week, three or four finals the week after. And I'm feeling about at capacity for math learning right now.
2. Conflicting feelings: I'm starting to really look forward to going home, having a good meal, a warm comfortable bed, family, familiarity, etc, but at the same time, it's so close and going home means that this semester will be finis, which isn't something I'm entirely prepared to think about. It just feels like it shouldn't be anywhere near over with yet, and I'm not sure what I can do to spend the remaining time the "best" way--do I try to travel more, or do I stay in BP? If I do travel, should I try to see Prague/Slovenia/wherever else, or should I see more of Hungary? And if I continue worrying about this, shouldn't I be spending this time doing more math?
3. That god-awful housing draw thing at Pomona. There were apparently like 40 or so free beds for the 117 people coming back from leave. Cathy was like number 30 or so in the lottery and deferred, since she didn't have a roommate lined up; I was number 74, and am living in the depths of south campus with a sophomore (Noah Simon), but at least it's someone I know. I don't even know what Rachel is planning to do (number 105), or, rather, what Pomona is going to do with her, and I feel very lucky I managed to get that 11th hour save from Laurel (which was random, but very welcome). Needless to say, the lead-up to this, and now worrying about how things will end up for everyone have both prompted some serious college-directed irritation.
4. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/06/international/europe/06rice.html
I can't deal with this. Also, that Postcolonial France history class I took spring of freshman year? Disturbingly relevant. And it has been, frankly, since we were studying France's legal response to alleged torture in Algeria the week the original Iraqi prison torture scandal broke. Here that, administration? You've become the people you hate: the French political administration (circa 1968).
5. (open question) What should I do with my life? and why can't I mentally picture myself as an adult, which I'm sure would help with the whole "career search" thing?
sam
ps: amsterdam was interesting, but the highlight was (not the libertarian social culture, or the drugs, or the amazing tilty buildings that look about to topple into a canal, or the used book shops, or the red light district) seeing Mark and Steph again. I think there's going to be a LOT of catching up to do this spring.
1. Too much math. Midterm last week, midterm this week, three or four finals the week after. And I'm feeling about at capacity for math learning right now.
2. Conflicting feelings: I'm starting to really look forward to going home, having a good meal, a warm comfortable bed, family, familiarity, etc, but at the same time, it's so close and going home means that this semester will be finis, which isn't something I'm entirely prepared to think about. It just feels like it shouldn't be anywhere near over with yet, and I'm not sure what I can do to spend the remaining time the "best" way--do I try to travel more, or do I stay in BP? If I do travel, should I try to see Prague/Slovenia/wherever else, or should I see more of Hungary? And if I continue worrying about this, shouldn't I be spending this time doing more math?
3. That god-awful housing draw thing at Pomona. There were apparently like 40 or so free beds for the 117 people coming back from leave. Cathy was like number 30 or so in the lottery and deferred, since she didn't have a roommate lined up; I was number 74, and am living in the depths of south campus with a sophomore (Noah Simon), but at least it's someone I know. I don't even know what Rachel is planning to do (number 105), or, rather, what Pomona is going to do with her, and I feel very lucky I managed to get that 11th hour save from Laurel (which was random, but very welcome). Needless to say, the lead-up to this, and now worrying about how things will end up for everyone have both prompted some serious college-directed irritation.
4. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/06/international/europe/06rice.html
I can't deal with this. Also, that Postcolonial France history class I took spring of freshman year? Disturbingly relevant. And it has been, frankly, since we were studying France's legal response to alleged torture in Algeria the week the original Iraqi prison torture scandal broke. Here that, administration? You've become the people you hate: the French political administration (circa 1968).
5. (open question) What should I do with my life? and why can't I mentally picture myself as an adult, which I'm sure would help with the whole "career search" thing?
sam
ps: amsterdam was interesting, but the highlight was (not the libertarian social culture, or the drugs, or the amazing tilty buildings that look about to topple into a canal, or the used book shops, or the red light district) seeing Mark and Steph again. I think there's going to be a LOT of catching up to do this spring.
posted by sam at
10:12 PM
4 Comments:
Sam - Thanks for the postcard! I hope things are going well.
By
Libby, at 12/7/05, 3:19 AM
Thats why I'm thrilled I don't even have to worry about going-homeitis for another eight months, and even then I can just renew!
By
Travelingrant, at 12/7/05, 11:58 PM
oh sam, don't worry about your "career" or "life." those words don't mean anything, because they will always change and you will never have just *one* job, career, or life. the way i see it, our lives are in constant modification. take life one semester at a time :) you can worry about jobs senior year. maybe consider applying for a fellowship or something so you don't have to go straight into a job or grad school right after graduation!
By
Anonymous, at 12/8/05, 5:01 AM
Yeah, according to the administration's email, I'm right on the border between having a room and homelessness. I'll make sure to throw one hell of a cardboard-box-warming party, at least.
On the bright side though, I found that ring I thought I lost at the dacha--turns out that in a moment of brilliant drunken foresight I put it in my purse, where it slipped through a hole in the poorly manufactured lining. Score one for the растяпа!
By
Rachel, at 12/8/05, 7:14 PM
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